Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Forest Through The Trees

As some of you know I have been searching for permanent employment since losing a job that I had secured in August so by the end of the summer it will have been a year. If I could have held on, my probation would have ended this month. Of course it was not to be since I was unable to keep the job due to circumstances that were under and not under my control. Since that time I have gone back and forth throughout something akin to the 5 stages of grief. I regret never fighting for the job, never defending my position or trying to explain some of the issues at hand to the supervisor. I regret that I have let it consume me so much so that I can't raise myself out of the depression that weighs me down. Part of the reason it was so very devastating for me was that I had worked for the temporary company that placed me there and they chose to not have me do temp work after losing the permanent position. This meant that not only was I going to lose more employment time as a temp since I had worked more than 20 hours a week for them but I would no longer ever see all the nurses doctors and staff that I had worked with over the course of 2 years. I had developed some wonderful friendships with supervisors, the staff and the doctors at the various clinics I was assigned to. One of them was an alumni of my college and I enjoyed working for her and her with me since we had a mutual bond together. The other day I was feeling like a modern day Job lamenting on my state in life. Then I went on a quilt retreat that at the time God was again speaking to me but I didn’t see it. I quilted, fellowshipped and generally had a good time. I never realized that the message was right in front of me “Bloom where you are planted”! Even though I continue to struggle wondering where I fit in the vast realm of things I have decided for now to bloom where I’m planted whether it’s cleaning the bathroom or washing the dog. I don’t think I will have time to grieve the loss of something that probably was not meant to be anyway and move on. Thanks for listening.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Sewing Machines Are Humming

Just got back from my annual quilt retreat. Had a great time sewing a wall hanging. Most were quilting and some scrapbookers as well. Weather was cold but sunny which added to the enjoyment of the weekend on the lake front. Extra special was my favorite daughter Karen who joined the fun. Was so very nice to have her with me to enjoy the weekend.
Sleeping is usually at a minimum especially this weekend since there was a heating problem in our room which wasn't fixed until Saturday evening but everything worked out fine since there is a bazillian quilts to cover up with. Food however isn't at a minimum with people bringing snacks or junk food if you want to call it that (hey, we're on a retreat after all)! The chef cooks the most wonderful food and of course there is always the camp oatmeal, my favorite! Back to the exercise bike I go!

Monday, March 14, 2011

If You Can't Beat It, Join It (the winter, that is)

This past Sunday I decided to test the waters (or snow in this case)and try snow-shoeing. I had never done it and a friend encouraged me to go with her. Sometimes we have to take risks and this one turned out better than I thought it would. We met at Woodlake Nature Center in Richfield, rented the shoes and headed out on a trail. It took some getting use to but I felt completely safe on the ice and snow due to the width of the shoes and the cleats on the bottom. We skirted almost the whole perimeter probably covering a little over 2 miles. I thought my legs would tire faster than they did and even though it was a real workout just being outside and enjoying the fresh air along with a deer, some woodpeckers, and some fellow hikers I felt completely one with nature.

I'd do it again in a minute but may try the cross-country skis next time. With the amount of snow we have had I might just get that chance before spring finally rolls around!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I will carry you - Michael W Smith

I decided to give a little "high five" to the Lord today. When I was single (31 years ago this April) I lived with a family in St. Paul. They are a wonderful Christian family that have 5 girls and many grandchildren. I have been following her story on Caringbridge because she has been struggling with bone cancer for about 4 years. She is now in hospice. Besides the pain it has now spread to her jaw and has caused her alot of pain as well as effecting her appearance. She gets discouraged but is remaining strong with the help of her friends, her family and of course, her God. I "guestbook" her since she finds encouragement from our notes of encouragement to her. For me it is the other way around. When I get frustrated or discouraged I read her notes to us of how her days are going. When she goes to the doctor she tells them "ASAP does NOT mean "as soon as possible". It means "Always Say A Prayer". Many times they are touched by her faith and humor in the midst of an impossible situation, an impossible battle, an impossible struggle, not to mention terminal. The other day she wrote Remember, "we don't know what the future holds, but we do know Who holds the future! Whether personally or from others telling her story she has been able to be Christ to so many!"
This song is especially for her but also for all of us who struggle no matter how great or small. Hopefully, this will be an encouragement for you as well! We continue to pray for Jea*nette!