Monday, August 12, 2013

To the Soul There is Hardly Anything More Healing than Friends

So much has happened in the last month. Many of you know Daniel, my youngest got married the same day that my mom fell and broke her hip. She died one week later at the ripe old age of 90. My cousin from Seattle said that her father's (my mom's brother) experience with hospice was not that great. My mom's was pristine. The hospice group that followed her (thru Park Nicollet) calls me every month to see how my family and I are doing. They also have monthly support meetings at the hospice my mom was at when she died. Her care nurse throughout the 2 years she was in hospice visited her not only on her appointed days but when she fell she visited in the hospital after work and one of the last days my mom was alive. I can't say enough about them and would highly recommend that group of wonderful caregivers. I always tell them to contact Mainstreet. Outside of my children she is missed terribly over there.
That being said, I have been her sole caregiver and now after her death there is alot to do: papers, phone calls, financial issues, cleaning out and closing down the apartment. My brother came and took what he wanted and left. I haven't heard from him since. I also haven't really grieved even though I miss her. Especially when I see her face in a picture. Yesterday I was over at her apartment cleaning out her stuff and sharing some of her usable items with the residents (they have a table in the basement you can put out reusable items) and I picked up a piece of paper off the floor in the bedroom. It was one of her last grocery lists. Those are the things that send me over the edge. That and seeing the residents come up to me and tell me how much they miss her. I try to go at night so I won't run into them. Otherwise it's a cry-fest. I never allow anyone to cry alone in my presence (from Green Fried Tomatoes). One thing they all say is she never complained. I'm trying to pattern that into my own life.
I would highly recommend Mainstreet. She loved being there, made getting old not look so bad, and her friends there were like a second family to her. I'd move in tomorrow but I don't think Michael would go. Oh well.
Anyway, I found a picture that was given to her of a dinner that some of the gals went to about 4 months ago. It's become one of my favorites. She looks so very happy and that's the way I wish to remember her as. Life was good in between the pain. (The title is from Thomas Moore)

Mom with some of her Mainstreet friends