Thursday, March 13, 2008
He who sings, prays twice!
I was at choir tonight. Even though I have always enjoyed singing, sometimes I feel like I'm not really a part of the group. I have thought about suggesting a party or get together of some sort but I always chicken out. I don't understand how someone can be a part of something without really being a part of something. We all sing together Sunday after Sunday but we really don't know each other. I always have felt that it would be a much better world if we all knew just a little more about each other. Our joys, our pains, our gifts, our life experiences, even some of our secret desires for ourselves or how we feel about Jesus. But no one wants to "go there". Last week I had asked one of the choir members if she could call the choir director for me (I didn't know the email address) to let her know that I would miss the next practice and Sunday service due to surgery for varicose veins no one said one word to me at practice tonight and it made me feel bad. I blamed myself because I really didn't tell anyone out side of the director who for reasons unknown to me doesn't seem to want to know me at all even though she converses within the group to individuals when we talk together inbetween song practices. Then I started feeling guilty because I hadn't had a prayer time this day but knew that God would understand and forgive me. Then I realized that I was getting ministered to by the music I was singing in preparation for Easter. Singing those words and taking them in with their meaning made all the diference. It was like I was praying the songs as well as singing them and God was loving me right where I was at that moment in time through all the "dirt" I was carrying through the day and the self-pity I was feeling within the practice time. Surrounded by all those people that were mere acquantinces who didn't want to know anything about me, God who knew me before I was born surrounded me with His love and peace and security and I went home feeling okay.