This is a poem that I wrote a couple of years ago. It was part of an assignment for a class at the University of Minnesota.

Olive-green Dress

 

A plain but pretty olive-green dress all the way from Bangladesh.

Riding on the coattails true of happy little girls in blue.

Why she wore it no one knew. It wasn’t red or happy blue.

“It’s not a play or painting dress” her mother said

but nevertheless

To look her best she shunned the rest

                                                             and wore her dress

from Bangladesh.

                                                                        C. Fiedler 2022

 

Things I Wish I Could Tell My Mother

 

 

 

I didn't have a great relationship with my mom. I know she loved me but possibly didn't like me. Alot of it was revealed through some therapy. I figured out that she might have been jealous of my dad's relationship with me. My dad worshiped the ground I walked on and we were very close. I wish I could have assured her of my love and relationship with her.

I recently found out that I have a processing problem because I had a stroke before I was born. It causes me to be clumsy and uncoordinated at times. Math is also a big problem. She developed names for me like Gracie from George Burns and Gracie Allen. I never got to explain to her my situation but neither one of us knew at the time. 

Another thing I wish I could tell my mom was that I was sorry that I never learned about her as a person. I never knew her wedding date or had a wedding, like in a church. She never had a wedding dress. I learned after the fact that she left Minnesota and went to San Diego with some co-workers to find a new life away from her mom and dad. She was braver that I had ever known.

It pays to ask questions and learn about your family. None of us is around for ever.

Past and Present 2025

 My life has its ups and downs. When I turned 70 was when I felt that my life was heading into its golden years. I have always been a person that moved fast, physically and mentally. It was mostly due to my ADD. Even with medication I have realized that rushing is a problem when you reach 70. I have to force myself to slow down and smell the roses, take one step at a time, and get a good night’s sleep or a rest time when the opportunity presents itself. Life is short. Why ruin it with a broken bone or sprained ankle.

When I was a child I ran everywhere. I hated being in the house and consequently I loved the outdoors. More space, more air etc. Sometimes I would lay on the grass in the back yard or at the park and watch the clouds move through the sky. I was always looking for angels. I use to think I saw birds or some kind of being floating among the clouds, however I was never afraid of what I thought was up there.  

When I traveled with my folks on a road trip I loved to sing. It annoyed my brother so I eventually stopped singing. I believe it caused a loss for me because I can carry a tune even though I don’t have a quality voice. The other way I use to amuse myself was to watch the horizon. I would make up stories in my head believing there were Indians riding their horses along the cliffs and hills. This thinking came because I loved westerns. My favorite was Bonanza.  

Been thinking more about reinventing myself in new ways. Being a student at the U of Minn. has been interesting as far as scanning the possibilities for advancement in learning. I can sign up for fall classes on March 8th. All of them say I cannot audit them so I have to pay $10 a credit which is amazing! There are definite perks to being a senior citizen!
My daily life has been tough but am trying to "get off the couch" as they say and getting busy with making my daily life better. Doing more sewing that I enjoy, studying scriptures which always can use a boost, reading more vs TV time. Sometimes I feel life nothing is happening in my life and I need something to jump start my engines. Even if it's something small. For example the other day I was over at Hannah's and Daniels and I spotted a yo yo. Come to find out that one of her relatives gave them yo yos for Christmas. Sounds loony but their family is kind of like that. Being as that particular toy was one of my favorites I picked one up at their house and showed Hannah how to "walk the dog". Was able to do it after some effort as the string was not in the best condition. I use to be able to "rock the cradle" but will need a better string attachment for that. I got the impression that Hannah kind of thought it was silly and only for kids. I always try to help her by my attitude in life how we all can have fun with things whether they are labeled as kids toys or not: digging in the sand, flying a kite, making a snow angel, etc. all kids related things but also enjoyable by everyone adult or kid. Sometimes I wish I could get Hannah to let her adult self go and really take a risk on being silly or funny in a way that frees her to enjoy life more. I'll keep trying with that because her children really deserve more of that from her. She is a wonderful mom and alittle song and dance as they say can only enhance her parenting skills. 

Daniel's birthday plus

Had a great weekend celebrating Daniel's birthday. We were 2 weeks off but everyone is so busy. Everyone came except David and Venessa (backpacking in Wyoming).

Aiden and Ellie having fun with a water balloon

                                                                           Ellie


Went over to Menards and got a kiddie pool since both Aiden and Ellie were coming. Aiden had a great time with the water balloons.

Daniel was given an Dairy Queen ice cream cake, one of his favorite things. Played a game after it started raining.

Ellie is One!

Decided to change things up just a bit with the font. I am down to one a month on my posts since I have been too busy and some life issues have surfaced for me but thought I better honor my only granddaughter and post some birthday pics of her.

Had a great party with about 30 people most of them Hannah's relatives. All my kids came as well as Michael. I made 4 cakes; one just for her to check out since I guess that is the "now" thing to do.

The only thing missing was some music, one of Ellie's favorite things but to much to remember for those planning. Lots of snacks and visiting and of course passing Ellie around which is what the day was for.

Happy birthday, Ellie!

Little Piano Hands

Trying too educate myself in regard to taking pictures with my camera. It has a lot more features than I have been using due to the lack of understanding about light, etc. The other day I babysat my granddaughter and got lucky. This pic is for those not on Facebook that read my blog since my cover picture was changed to the following pic. I thought it turned out great so I'm sharing it with you.

I am adding the picture of the author of these hands since she is so cute and I guess I am one of "those" grandmothers. I just wish my mom was alive since she is missing the experience of being a great grandmother.

Ellianna Jean Fiedler 11 months

Childhood Remembered

Haven't been blogging recently with Christmas and some other things getting in the way. I also want to try to make the subjects interesting which is not always what I see happening in my life. Recently though I was invited to an old friends house for my birthday back in December even though we celebrated it way past that date. She fixed a lovely meal and invited her sister and all the hubbies. It was so fun just sitting over a glass of wine reminiscing and laughing about old times. Their mother was my mother's best friend. I try to call their mom occasionally because I know she misses my mom terribly even to this day (it's been 2 years). Dana is closest to me in age and her sister is about 3 years older than Dana. Even though their personalities and looks are totally different, they are very close. Our fathers were best friends and partners in sales. They would travel around the U.S. and sell everything from fire alarms to nursery furniture. When my dad died their father cried for a week over the loss of his friend, my dad, even though they hadn't spoken for a number of years.
At the dinner party last month the sisters were telling me that they and their husbands were going to Florida for a number of weeks and were debating about taking their mother along with them.  Joyce (their mother) lives in a retirement community close to Dana's house in Shoreview and had indicated that she had told them that she wanted to come with them on the vacation. I indicated that maybe that would be a good thing for them. Spending some quality time with her rather than an occasional visit to her retirement condo. I understood where they were coming from but I don't think they even realized my thoughts on that particular subject.

me, Pam and Dana

Sometimes I think that we really don't realize that we can be complaining about a family member in the presence of someone who has lost that same member of their family. I remembered once a couple years ago at a gathering of women that some of the women were complaining about their husbands. Simple things that aggravated them like leaving the toilet seat up etc. No one but myself realized that one of the gals had lost her husband 6 years ago at a fairly young age to cancer and I wondered about her "take" on the subject since her husband was no longer in her life.
Certainly life is short. Once they are gone there is no coming back. Memories are all we have sometimes. I thank the Lord that these gals are in my life. I truly care and cherish their friendship with me and those of their husbands. We try to make it a regular thing to meet up with them for dinner or breakfast at a favorite restaurant. I will also miss them when they are gone, unless of course I go first. But we do have the memories which brings me to the picture. Enjoy.

Christmas 2014

Aiden had a late Christmas with us as he was at his dad's this Christmas. Got a few pics. Enjoy.
the first one was a work set with screw drivers, hammer, etc.






















He loves to help Daniel work on the cars so he really was thrilled with this present. The second one was a dry erase board where he can work on his writing skills. Hannah wants to encourage him to prepare for Kindergarten hopefully this fall.

 
 
 
 
 

Thanksgiving 2014

 

Two turkeys-$18.99, all the fixins'-$13.99, 14 people for dinner-priceless. Had a great time with the family even though my small house made it a little like "crunch-time". Enjoy the pics.

 

 

Aiden with David playing with the guitars.

pumpkin pie

playing a song on the piano (as only Aiden can)

 

slicing the turkeys

 



the family enjoying the meal

 

the eyeball straw!

 

 

Lebanon in 2014

Another of my trips to Lebanon. Pictures turned out pretty good. One is left off because it's a Christmas present to my daughter but will probably post at a later time.

The usual group minus D.K. Had fun in the A-Frame building which I dislike due to the harsh lighting in there but didn't have a problem this year as I was behind most of the lighting.
Got a lot done this time.

Even started some garment sewing which I haven't done in many years. That was fun especially since it was a very small piece for my granddaughter. Her mother liked the material and it will be a lovely corduroy jumper in red and brown plaid colors.





                         

Hubby loaned me the CRV due to 4-wheel drive and the weather held off so no big storms. A pleasant trip was had by all.

Halloween Fun

Daddy and Elie the bunny

Halloween was a first for me with the grandkids. We had a wonderful time.











Thursday they all came over and carved pumpkins and had dinner with Michael and I.

The two little skeletons

Friday the grandkids wanted to show off their costumes and comb the neighborhood.

 

 

 

            

A Weekend to Remember

This past weekend Michael, I, Karen, Daniel, Hannah, and Elie went down to The University of Wisconsin for the weekend. The main reason for going down was to go to Homecoming at the University of Wisconsin-Platteville. 

Michael and I in the parade

Michael was honored on Friday evening with the annual BILSA (Business, Industry, Life Science & Agriculture) Alumni Chapter Service Award. Saturday morning Michael and I rode a convertible in the Homecoming parade. That was a little uncomfortable for both of us. We then drove down to Cuba City for a very short visit and then on to Madison for the evening.

Hannah took this picture along the way of an unknown but lovely scene

Sunday we hit all the Farmer's Markets and took in the sights including the fall colors. Beautiful.

September Birthdays

Birthdays have been lacking in the fall months but when Daniel married Hannah it became apparent that September was going to be a busy month for "happy, happy birthday...."  Both Hannah and Aiden are September babies so since we have December and January covered and May, June and August (what happened to July???) covered we now have a fall month covered.

Aiden with his new bible

 Aiden turned 4 and I decided it was time that he had his own bible to take to church with him. There are a gazillion different childrens bibles to choose from. He loves books that rhyme so I picked one where the bible stories rhyme. He  didn't appreciate the clothes but hey, he's 4. Growing is part of the deal and he needed clothes (by the way, so is his hair since he is now cancer free). We also threw in a Jake & the Neverland Pirates pillow which he DID appreciate. Gotta have a few toys in there somewhere.  Hannah is now a quarter of a century old. We were going to give her a gift card to Target but I knew she would probably spend it on the kids (diapers, etc.) so I got her something on Amazon which was actually for Elie and some DVD's she wanted.  

Hannah opening her presents with help from Elie

 

 Anyway, since Hannah had a gathering of her family from her mom and dad's side on Friday, a friend party on Sunday, we decided to have a small get together at our place yesterday (Tuesday). Between married people, school responsibilities, and work we just decided to celebrate it before it got to be October. The pictures are not the greatest but I couldn't resist posting them here. Such wonderful looking people.

playing a quick game of Candyland

 

State Fair 2014

I LOVE cotton candy!

I did manage to go to the State Fair this year. I don't go much anymore since my feet, knees and energy is 63ish but I decided to go since I now have grandchildren and I have always believed that kids can make a mediocre experience that much better and more interesting. More interesting is probably the word I'm looking for. I went during the week (less crowds) and took with me my son Daniel and his wife Hannah.

Hannah, Daniel, Elie and Aiden

The interesting (and better!) part came in the form of Aiden and Elie. I was a a bit apprehensive anticipating a stroller, two eventually tired toddlers, and a lot of "I want" coming out of their mouths. That didn't happen as Elie doesn't talk actual words yet, although she does plenty of talking, and Aiden is SO very good at accepting things as they come. It's like he knows that his loved ones are not rich and they do the best they can at helping him have a good time with what they have. The giant slide was definitely on his list!

Daniel & Elie

And we did! Walking around and sharing with each other the stuff we wanted to see, do or eat. At one time I asked Hannah what she wanted to do next and she responded with "I don't care. I'm only here for the food". I had to laugh at that one. We all did really well not gorging ourselves on a lot of junk.

my fun purse

The highlight came when Hannah introduced me to some purses at the International Bazaar area that sold fabric purses very inexpensively and with a discount coupon in the Blue Discount Book of $8 that more than paid for the use of it. As we left the fair and headed for the car








I realized that it was one of the more pleasant and relaxing times I had had at the fair, aching feet aside.

the "fam" enjoying the fair

Diversity

Took Aiden to the park last week for about an hour. It was a park that I grew up around and I noticed it had changed a lot over the years. Demographics aside, they had added more play equipment and the building was locked up like Fort Knox. I found that out when Aiden announced that he had to use the bathroom and we were forced to leave. Too bad they can't have something that wouldn't be vandalized that people could access for a reasonable request like using a restroom.

Anyway, I named my post "Diversity" because the playground had about 35 kids with parents there and Aiden and I were the only two that were white and didn't speak Spanish. It is amazing how children can look past limitations and still have lots of fun and can interact in ways we wouldn't think of. One little boy latched onto Aiden, leading him into all kinds of games on the playground equipment. The only English his mother said he knew was "hey boy" which worked for Aiden. You'd never say that to a black kid. Amazing.

Centenial Lakes Park

Made another trip to Centennial Lakes Park a couple weeks ago. This time I decided to take Aiden since I had asked to have some time with him. I had a definite plan to ride on the paddle boats and look at the ducks, etc. The paddle boats were fun although he has a boot on due to a fractured foot (fell off a slip n' slide that was elevated somehow) and his feet were too short to paddle so I had a real workout keeping us moving. They charge by the half hour so we decided after that to head back to the car.

Unfortunately I parked waaay to far from where I was suppose to park so carrying him was a difficult endeavor. We did the piggyback way, the front carry and then he wanted to be on my shoulders. I still don't believe it but I lifted him up all the way and over my head onto my shoulders. I guess those free weights I throw around at L.A. Fitness paid off.  It was the easiest way for us to maneuver through the park. After that we went back to my house and made cookies; one of Aiden's more enjoyable endeavors; esp with a broken foot.


 

I continue to plan outings with him and will eventually have some time with Elie as well. I have a Pack & Play in my back room for naps so I guess that makes me official!

Graduation Party '14

Had a surprise graduation party for Hannah Sunday afternoon. It started very slow but eventually we got everyone there including the designated surprise'ee and her husband. People brought something to share and we enjoyed food and our favorite game, Jeopardy. Our questions were from categories of the U of MN and Hannah. We did it for the bridal shower and everyone loved it so much we decided to do it again with a U of MN theme.

The weather held out, we had 4 kids attending not including my 2 grandchildren that had fun with one of the games tossing a mortar board into a laundry basket and everyone got to try to guess the number of candies in a jar. Daniel guessed within 6 and Hannah within 4 numbers so she won the jar and candy which was nice (there were 261 Sixlets). It all worked out great in our backyard. I had accumulated about 10 lawn chairs from throw-outs so we had plenty of space and spots to sit. Relatives from Hannah's family came up from Clearwater even though July is packed with softball tourneys and festivals. Even though Hannah had graduated with a 4-year degree back in December, she never really celebrated so Daniel wanted to put up a party for her and it came off well. His love for her never ceases to amaze me. I wish I would have taken more pictures just because I wanted to capture a special time for her. At least she got a break since we all wanted to hold the baby!

Grandma Pat with Elie

A Life Well Lived

The first time I met Myra I was taken back by her booming voice. She was very "out there" if you will. She never minced words when she was sharing her opinion about topics, difficult or easy which is actually what drew me to her. It was "take me or leave me. This is me".
She was a voracious reader, accomplished gardener, and a loving mother and grandmother.  She also was a great hostess. I speak from personal experience on that last one. .  A confident person but also sensitive to others feelings and opinions as well.
A few months back I called her to ask her opinion about something I was wondering about. I was in the process of approaching a mutual friend and I wanted to be as sensitive as I could. She told me to share with my heart and that my friend would understand and accept my feelings on a matter that was troubling me. It turned out that Myra was right about my situation. She told me to be confident and believe in the friendship and everything would eventually work itself out. if not right away.
Myra wasn't a close, close friend but I valued her relationship with me. She was easy to talk to and always made me feel special. Her confidence was contagious almost to the point of jealousy.  She shared her life stories with me about her growing up years, about her father owning a grocery store, etc. I will always think of her when I attempt to eat an over-ripe banana. I probably won't eat it but I definitely will think of her. My visits to her hometown were wonderful. It wasn't like going to Disneyland, but better. She gave up her own bedroom for me, enveloping me into her fold of friends, and inviting and introducing me to her extended family.  There is nothing like seeing friends gather together on a Saturday morning over coffee and great conversation. I enjoyed watching "from the bleachers" as Saturday Morning Coffee unfolded.

I didn't know any of them  but was taken in by them as if I had been a part of their agenda all along. Not to diminish the unbearable grief Myra's family is experiencing right now, I especially grieve for my friend Kathy who now carries on the memory of Myra in her heart.

Loving and caring about a friend as much as they cared about each other is something rare these days and oh so wonderful to watch. I will miss all the games of Hand and Foot that no longer will be played and how she and my friend's husband would debate back and forth about who's turn it was, etc. (I laugh as I write this). I will miss going to Hendrum to visit her and enjoy her garden, her friends, and her wonderful coffee. I will even miss her booming voice, but especially I will miss her friendship but will always remember the difference she made in my life. Rest in peace my friend.

Myra's garden

Mille Lacs Trip



Hannah, myself, and Karen

My daughter Karen really likes her down-time. About every 6-8 months she plans out a trip somewhere usually within 4-5 hours of driving time. She asks family and friends who wants to go with her. I don't like traveling but I decided to accompany her on an overnight trip to see the Judy Garland museum in Grand Rapids, MN. I was very glad I made the choice to go. I had a great time with her and my daughter-in-law, Hannah. Daniel stayed behind to care for Elieanna.  We headed out last Saturday to Grand Rapids to the Judy Garland museum which was really quite fun and interesting along with a hands on science area for children next to it.

Karen and Hannah playing make-believe

Only a 3 hour drive away and a cost of $8, I found it worth the time. We then headed back down 169 South, staying at the Mille Lacs Casino hotel. We took in the buffet which wasn't worth the $17 nor the hotel (the beds were terrible) but we had fun with the $20 they give you in casino money. I started off winning money little by little (without even knowing it) and ended up losing it all.

One of many pictures and info about Judy G

We ended the evening playing late night bingo. We again lost our shirt ($9) but the fellowship between us was wonderful. We bonded well together, saw lots of various wild life. Unfortunately Karen hit a big turtle on the highway on the way up. We shared the driving, and if one of us wanted to stop along the way to see something, we did. We are already planning our next trip in a year, possibly to Duluth. Any takers?? More the merrier!!

Me not knowing what I was doing and being the better for it!