Dad at 16. (The man was born with a briefcase in his hand) |
*My
father was a very charismatic man; a man that loved to talk, loved to laugh,
loved to tell a story or a joke. Even though it is a great loss, it also tends
to be his legacy to our family. We are reminded daily of his many pearls of
wisdom he said to us when he was with us. One of my favorites was “live life as
if every day is Christmas and every night is New Years Eve” which probably
described him as a person and how he lived or wanted to live his life from day
to day. Never one to search and find he
would always say, “Ask questions, you’re in America now.” Being one to never
back down from a fight when believing I was right about something he would
remind me that sometimes you could win the argument and lose the war. For that
reason I try to pick my battles and only go to war over something when I truly
believe I am right. Being a salesman he believed in the saying “the customer is
always right”.
Dad's 30th birthday |
At some
time I hope to gain greater peace about the things that I failed to talk with
him about like the fact that life is not always fair and sometimes pain is a
very real experience and not always as bad as it seems at the time. I wanted him to know that it was okay to cry
sometimes especially when you’re giving your daughter away in marriage, okay to
feel sad like when your favorite pet dies and even though you love dogs you
shouldn’t deny yourself the love of one because you will be sad when they die,
okay to even share the pain of others like at funerals even though we hate
going for fear of crying ourselves. I guess his pain took a back seat to what
he wanted to see as reality for himself but I always hoped that he would come
to a point where it wasn’t seen as such a negative experience for him.
Family vacation 1955 |
We all
think about those that went before us and reflect on what we would say or do if
given a second chance. For my dad I would find a quiet place outside, maybe an
empty park bench somewhere. I would tell
him that I never got to truly express to him that I love him. I would tell him
how thankful I am that he loved me throughout his life especially during the
times when I didn’t deserve it. I would tell him that I wished he would have
taken our advice and gone to the doctor. Maybe then he would have had more time
before he died. I would thank him for
making my life fun since as an
adult we sometimes tend to forget how to have fun. With that being said we
would stand up and I would give him something that I never could throughout
most of my life; a hug. We would then part ways and walking away I would wave
to him just as he waved to me so long ago standing in our back yard running up to the house from a friends home when it was dark outside. I would smile and wave and watch as he is
taken up with God.
*excerpts taken from a story I wrote called "Life With Father", 2007.
*excerpts taken from a story I wrote called "Life With Father", 2007.
Dad, the Barbecue Man! |