This is a poem that I wrote a couple of years ago. It was part of an assignment for a class at the University of Minnesota.

Olive-green Dress

 

A plain but pretty olive-green dress all the way from Bangladesh.

Riding on the coattails true of happy little girls in blue.

Why she wore it no one knew. It wasn’t red or happy blue.

“It’s not a play or painting dress” her mother said

but nevertheless

To look her best she shunned the rest

                                                             and wore her dress

from Bangladesh.

                                                                        C. Fiedler 2022

 

Things I Wish I Could Tell My Mother

 

 

 

I didn't have a great relationship with my mom. I know she loved me but possibly didn't like me. Alot of it was revealed through some therapy. I figured out that she might have been jealous of my dad's relationship with me. My dad worshiped the ground I walked on and we were very close. I wish I could have assured her of my love and relationship with her.

I recently found out that I have a processing problem because I had a stroke before I was born. It causes me to be clumsy and uncoordinated at times. Math is also a big problem. She developed names for me like Gracie from George Burns and Gracie Allen. I never got to explain to her my situation but neither one of us knew at the time. 

Another thing I wish I could tell my mom was that I was sorry that I never learned about her as a person. I never knew her wedding date or had a wedding, like in a church. She never had a wedding dress. I learned after the fact that she left Minnesota and went to San Diego with some co-workers to find a new life away from her mom and dad. She was braver that I had ever known.

It pays to ask questions and learn about your family. None of us is around for ever.

Past and Present 2025

 My life has its ups and downs. When I turned 70 was when I felt that my life was heading into its golden years. I have always been a person that moved fast, physically and mentally. It was mostly due to my ADD. Even with medication I have realized that rushing is a problem when you reach 70. I have to force myself to slow down and smell the roses, take one step at a time, and get a good night’s sleep or a rest time when the opportunity presents itself. Life is short. Why ruin it with a broken bone or sprained ankle.

When I was a child I ran everywhere. I hated being in the house and consequently I loved the outdoors. More space, more air etc. Sometimes I would lay on the grass in the back yard or at the park and watch the clouds move through the sky. I was always looking for angels. I use to think I saw birds or some kind of being floating among the clouds, however I was never afraid of what I thought was up there.  

When I traveled with my folks on a road trip I loved to sing. It annoyed my brother so I eventually stopped singing. I believe it caused a loss for me because I can carry a tune even though I don’t have a quality voice. The other way I use to amuse myself was to watch the horizon. I would make up stories in my head believing there were Indians riding their horses along the cliffs and hills. This thinking came because I loved westerns. My favorite was Bonanza.  

Been thinking more about reinventing myself in new ways. Being a student at the U of Minn. has been interesting as far as scanning the possibilities for advancement in learning. I can sign up for fall classes on March 8th. All of them say I cannot audit them so I have to pay $10 a credit which is amazing! There are definite perks to being a senior citizen!
My daily life has been tough but am trying to "get off the couch" as they say and getting busy with making my daily life better. Doing more sewing that I enjoy, studying scriptures which always can use a boost, reading more vs TV time. Sometimes I feel life nothing is happening in my life and I need something to jump start my engines. Even if it's something small. For example the other day I was over at Hannah's and Daniels and I spotted a yo yo. Come to find out that one of her relatives gave them yo yos for Christmas. Sounds loony but their family is kind of like that. Being as that particular toy was one of my favorites I picked one up at their house and showed Hannah how to "walk the dog". Was able to do it after some effort as the string was not in the best condition. I use to be able to "rock the cradle" but will need a better string attachment for that. I got the impression that Hannah kind of thought it was silly and only for kids. I always try to help her by my attitude in life how we all can have fun with things whether they are labeled as kids toys or not: digging in the sand, flying a kite, making a snow angel, etc. all kids related things but also enjoyable by everyone adult or kid. Sometimes I wish I could get Hannah to let her adult self go and really take a risk on being silly or funny in a way that frees her to enjoy life more. I'll keep trying with that because her children really deserve more of that from her. She is a wonderful mom and alittle song and dance as they say can only enhance her parenting skills. 

Daniel's birthday plus

Had a great weekend celebrating Daniel's birthday. We were 2 weeks off but everyone is so busy. Everyone came except David and Venessa (backpacking in Wyoming).

Aiden and Ellie having fun with a water balloon

                                                                           Ellie


Went over to Menards and got a kiddie pool since both Aiden and Ellie were coming. Aiden had a great time with the water balloons.

Daniel was given an Dairy Queen ice cream cake, one of his favorite things. Played a game after it started raining.

Ellie is One!

Decided to change things up just a bit with the font. I am down to one a month on my posts since I have been too busy and some life issues have surfaced for me but thought I better honor my only granddaughter and post some birthday pics of her.

Had a great party with about 30 people most of them Hannah's relatives. All my kids came as well as Michael. I made 4 cakes; one just for her to check out since I guess that is the "now" thing to do.

The only thing missing was some music, one of Ellie's favorite things but to much to remember for those planning. Lots of snacks and visiting and of course passing Ellie around which is what the day was for.

Happy birthday, Ellie!

Little Piano Hands

Trying too educate myself in regard to taking pictures with my camera. It has a lot more features than I have been using due to the lack of understanding about light, etc. The other day I babysat my granddaughter and got lucky. This pic is for those not on Facebook that read my blog since my cover picture was changed to the following pic. I thought it turned out great so I'm sharing it with you.

I am adding the picture of the author of these hands since she is so cute and I guess I am one of "those" grandmothers. I just wish my mom was alive since she is missing the experience of being a great grandmother.

Ellianna Jean Fiedler 11 months